Parenting, Uncategorized

Mom Vs. Jess: Cooking Dinner

May 22, 2015

Jess (Before Oliver)

Sitting home alone waiting for Casey to return from work
I begin to feel the pang of hunger
What do I feel like eating?
The usual: Spaghetti
While playing one of the various shows I watch
I quickly boil some water, seasoned with salt
Grabbing the very inefficient can opener
Why spend money on one that works, when I can save money with mediocrity?
I pop a hole on either side of a can of tomato sauce
Throwing in the essential ingredients
Garlic, Oregano, Onion Powder, Sugar, Garlic Powder, Garlic Salt, Parmesan
Mix it up, Heat it up, while cooking the noodles
Within 20 minutes, I have a meal
Slap the amount I can consume on a plate, grab the parmesan
I sit on the couch to eat
Accompanied by whatever show I am currently binge-watching on Netflix

Mom (Oliver 2 Weeks Old)

Oliver is finally asleep in his bouncer
He just ate
I haven’t since breakfast
It’s now 6 at night and I’m starving
30-Minute Chicken Teriyaki and pasta sounds quick and easy
Boiling noodles and Oliver begins to stir
Holding my breath as I check on him
He’s still sleeping
Thank God
I continue cooking the noodles and getting the chicken onto a cutting board
The noodles are in the strainer and the chicken is prepped on the counter to be cubed
Oliver starts crying, 0 to 100 in a matter of seconds
I stop what I am doing and feed him more
Wondering how it’s possible
30-minutes later, my noodles are stuck together, I rinse them to break it up
Oh well, it won’t be perfect
It’ll be fine
I start cutting the chicken and mixing up the Teriyaki (Shit, no soy sauce)
Not going to the store
Oliver starts crying again, this time I have no idea why
I try changing him, holding him, feeding him yet again, until he’s asleep in my arms
Setting him in his bouncer to continue cooking
His eyes pop open and he begins to cry the second I let him go
I begin to cry
I feed him again only to realize the cat has stolen some raw chicken
Why do we have cats!?
Yelling, crying, and starving at this point
Oliver stays asleep long enough for me to get the chicken browned, simmering in broth
Another bout of crying and feeding ensues
Crying on both ends, Eating on one (Still not me)
Casey should be back soon, but I’m spiraling into a pit of despair
I just want to eat!
Finally, I mix in the noodles and grab a bowl
My 30-minute simple dinner took only 4-hours to complete
I take about five bites
It needed soy sauce
I don’t even feel hungry anymore
The food is wrapped and placed in the fridge
I grab out a beer
I deserve this after the night I’ve had
Cooking was never my strong suit anyway

2 thoughts on “Mom Vs. Jess: Cooking Dinner”

  1. Loved your blog on deciding what to wear and household chores. You are a natural. Your depiction makes the whole scene so relatable. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

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