Parenting

Mom vs. Jess: Moments of Silence

Jess:

Outside is noisy
Work is noisy
I just pop my headphones in
Tune out the world
It is peaceful, calm
Nothing can destroy the sanctity of this moment
Music isn’t complete silence
But it is containing my thoughts in one bubble
One direction
Not the lame boy band
I have focus
My mind is clear

Mom:

Home is noisy
Everywhere I go is noisy
Music feels noisy
The crying starts with one kid
Igniting the other
Loud
So loud my head feels like it’s vibrating
Throbbing into my teeth
I shiver as an oncoming headache hits like a train
I want to run away and drop into the fetal position
Somewhere quiet
I don’t remember what silence sounds like
I miss silence
Finally it’s 7am
No one is at work but me
I start the coffee maker and sit
In silence, minus random bellows from the air conditioning unit
I take a few deep breaths
Nestling into this fragment of calming silence
Hanging on as long as I can until it is lost
Until silence is missing once again.

 

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